Gender differences between men and women are unique. This effects spirituality and spiritual growth like you can't imagine. A best selling book describes these differences: "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus."
I'll address these gender differences -- these differences between men and women -- more in Part 2 of this article. My wife Eileen assisted me in writing a book on women and spirituality a few years ago: "WOMEN: Called to be Fathers of the Gospel."
But right now let's look at some of how men and women are different in spiritual thinking.
Women and men are strikingly different in how they think about life. Men think in terms of success achievement, and women don't. Men think in terms of ruling and conquering, and women don't. This was predicted by God back in Genesis 3, when he said to Eve: "Your desire shall be for your husband, but he shall rule over you." Women most often don't think in terms of controlling and ruling men, but it's also true I have met some women who were very controlling.
Women think and relate with their hearts. Men have more of a tendency to think and relate with their heads. Men relate to life in a 'formula' type of thinking: 1 + 2 = 3. This tells them how to get what they want, and brains give them the ability to figure this out, and the satisfaction of accomplishing it. Men create 'system' in their thoughts that then create steps, and maps, and formulas to get to their desired end.
For this reason, men tend to relate better to the Old Testament system of rules. Here, it tells them what they need to DO in order to GET what they want. Their reasoning is that if they merely keep the rules, then they will be blessed and favored by God. If they don't keep the rules then they won't be blessed. Women relate better to the New Testament concepts of love and grace.
The Old Testament rule book creates a system or a formula to which they can relate. It's a matter of the head -- it can be embraced and understood with our minds. It is a reasoning process that men can relate to. Men thrive in this environment.
But most women relate to life from the heart, not from the head. They don't think about a 'rule book' that tells them how to get what they want. They are focused more on the MEANS to getting to the end -- and not so much the END itself. Men like the end result more than the means -- the destination is their goal. Women focus more on the journey that will lead to an end they desire.
Of course, nothing is universal! Please hear this! Some men think more like women, and some women think more like men. But as a Christian counselor, and now a gospel life coach, what I'm describing is usually the way things are.
Let me repeat it: women are more heart driven; men are more head driven. This means that women are a lot more RELATIONAL in the way they think, and men are more RATIONAL in the way they think.
Women are more focused on the PROCESS of God -- or how God works in us, and in others, to bring forth his will and his ways. On the other hand, men are more PROGRAM directed, because if they can work a program, they can succeed in gaining or achieving some desired goal.
What this boils down to is that men are more OLD Testament based, and women are more NEW Testament based. Men, and Old Testament thinking, was very 'cause and effect' driven. "If I steal I may go to jail." -- "If I commit adultery, I may get AIDS, or I may get divorced or even murdered." Men know if they kick the dog, or the cat, they may get scratched or even bitten. It's a very cause and effect type thinking. It's very 'matter of fact.' It's a thinking that is very functional and practical.
In Part 2 of this, we will look at why the gospel is easier for women than it is for men. As THE GOSPEL LIFE COACH, I know that dealing with women is often very different from dealing with men.
I'll address these gender differences -- these differences between men and women -- more in Part 2 of this article. My wife Eileen assisted me in writing a book on women and spirituality a few years ago: "WOMEN: Called to be Fathers of the Gospel."
But right now let's look at some of how men and women are different in spiritual thinking.
Women and men are strikingly different in how they think about life. Men think in terms of success achievement, and women don't. Men think in terms of ruling and conquering, and women don't. This was predicted by God back in Genesis 3, when he said to Eve: "Your desire shall be for your husband, but he shall rule over you." Women most often don't think in terms of controlling and ruling men, but it's also true I have met some women who were very controlling.
Women think and relate with their hearts. Men have more of a tendency to think and relate with their heads. Men relate to life in a 'formula' type of thinking: 1 + 2 = 3. This tells them how to get what they want, and brains give them the ability to figure this out, and the satisfaction of accomplishing it. Men create 'system' in their thoughts that then create steps, and maps, and formulas to get to their desired end.
For this reason, men tend to relate better to the Old Testament system of rules. Here, it tells them what they need to DO in order to GET what they want. Their reasoning is that if they merely keep the rules, then they will be blessed and favored by God. If they don't keep the rules then they won't be blessed. Women relate better to the New Testament concepts of love and grace.
The Old Testament rule book creates a system or a formula to which they can relate. It's a matter of the head -- it can be embraced and understood with our minds. It is a reasoning process that men can relate to. Men thrive in this environment.
But most women relate to life from the heart, not from the head. They don't think about a 'rule book' that tells them how to get what they want. They are focused more on the MEANS to getting to the end -- and not so much the END itself. Men like the end result more than the means -- the destination is their goal. Women focus more on the journey that will lead to an end they desire.
Of course, nothing is universal! Please hear this! Some men think more like women, and some women think more like men. But as a Christian counselor, and now a gospel life coach, what I'm describing is usually the way things are.
Let me repeat it: women are more heart driven; men are more head driven. This means that women are a lot more RELATIONAL in the way they think, and men are more RATIONAL in the way they think.
Women are more focused on the PROCESS of God -- or how God works in us, and in others, to bring forth his will and his ways. On the other hand, men are more PROGRAM directed, because if they can work a program, they can succeed in gaining or achieving some desired goal.
What this boils down to is that men are more OLD Testament based, and women are more NEW Testament based. Men, and Old Testament thinking, was very 'cause and effect' driven. "If I steal I may go to jail." -- "If I commit adultery, I may get AIDS, or I may get divorced or even murdered." Men know if they kick the dog, or the cat, they may get scratched or even bitten. It's a very cause and effect type thinking. It's very 'matter of fact.' It's a thinking that is very functional and practical.
In Part 2 of this, we will look at why the gospel is easier for women than it is for men. As THE GOSPEL LIFE COACH, I know that dealing with women is often very different from dealing with men.
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